Life After 50: A Fresh Start For Women At Midlife and Beyond

“Who wants to go first?”

We sat in a circle on yoga mats, in a simple wooden building with views across the Spanish mountains. The October sun sent sideways rectangles of light across the floor. There was peace in the air, coupled with the burning scent of incense. I wore old tracksuit bottoms and a loose grey t-shirt to match my face; my feet were bare, my legs crossed and my hair unbrushed and pulled back into a knot. A curled up strip of notepaper lay beside my toe. My heart beat out of my chest. No one moved.

I raised my hand.

“I’m here to take a break from my fucking awful life”, I said. I shared the litany of shit that had been flying at me from all sides for the past couple of years. “I just want this drama to be over so I can slow down, rest up and enjoy my life. What do I want from this experience? A rest.”

I was 51, one of the youngest women invited to what I had thought was a holiday, but in fact turned out to be a retreat taking twelve of us into a deep dive into the wiser woman.

But as we went around the circle, something shifted. As we went around the room and each woman shared her story, I realised that they were all over fifty-five. And that, instead of quietly fading into their older years as I had thought was next on the cards for me, these women had fire in the bellies and were lit up by their passions and lives.

Later that day, when the circle came round again, I tore up my first request.
“What do I want from this experience? To come alive again.”

The unexpected revelation at the retreat served as a wake-up call. I realised that society's narrative, which often tells us to slow down after a certain age, doesn't have to be the truth we live by. Many women, like those I met at the retreat, are ready to embrace a vibrant new chapter, defying outdated norms and expectations.

Society does not expect this of the woman at mid-life and beyond. After all, we carry in our bones and our blood the trauma of the powerful elders, the witches that were our foremothers.

In a world that values women for their youth, prettiness and fecundity, as we pass into mid-life we lose them all. In the tumult of the menopausal years we lose ourselves.

As we shift into our third chapters, the drive and ambition and achievement so celebrated in a world that wants us to produce, produce, produce, consume, consume, consume loses its appeal.

Teenagers and young adults bring us teenage and young adult-sized problems and then they leave. Parents get sick and then they die, leaving us changed, hollowed, empty.

What then? Are we over?

We raise our heads to see what there is to do now, no longer driven by numbers and achievements and getting all the things and see there's more to life - love, spirituality, generosity.

We take in the world around us. We see the flowers wilting in the heat, we hear the stories of war and destruction, we have witnessed injustice through our own travels through life.

And we feel the heart-sinking combination of overwhelm at the state of the world and powerlessness to do anything about it. So we pour another glass of wine, lose ourselves in Netflix, scroll, sleep.

The world tells us our time is over.

But far from being washed up and past our best, those years of experience and wisdom we have, the networks we have created, the resilience we have built, all mean that it's time to begin.

To create afresh how we want to spend our time in a meaningful way this third chapter. To use all that we are to leave the world a better place than we found it.

We realise we are perfectly placed to become the change-makers.

So it will come to pass that when women participate fully and equally in the affairs of the world, when they enter confidently and capably the great arena of laws and politics, war will cease; for woman will be the obstacle and hindrance to it”.

- Bahá’í Scripture

And suddenly there’s a fire in our bellies and a purpose to our days.

We have years ahead of us to contribute. Against the backdrop of the sense of urgency we can all feel as we come ever nearer to the tipping point beyond which live-giving earth can no longer balance herself.

Leading to hunger and poverty and war and displacement and a feeling of scarcity and fear we can smell when we step into the streets.

As we venture into our third chapter, the chance to engage is more than an opportunity - it's a calling.

We shift from perceived limitations to possibilities, creating a new paradigm for what it means to be an older woman; that greater age brings greater contribution.

That change can be made, now, today, by us.

How?

Your path may be completely different to anyone else’s, and that’s OK. For me, it began with sowing and giving away flowers. Then creating art and donating the proceeds to a charity that resonated with me due to the struggles my kids were going through. Then supporting The Hunger Project, a cause that has kept showing up in my life for over a decade.

Now, One Thousand Women, born from a moment of reckoning watching The Handmaid’s Tale, realising what happens when we don’t pay attention and seeing how much the older women in my life have to offer as change-makers; bringing us all together to support and inspire each other.

Pull out a notepad and take a few minutes to recognise what consistently draws your attention in life, what tugs at your heart. Is there a cause, an activity, or a conversation that keeps resurfacing for you? This is often where your potential to effect change lies. Pick ONE thing. Start small. Engage with it intentionally, allowing your passion and experience to guide you.

Notice how you start to come alive.

That’s it.

One Thousand Women starts on 21st September and is a container for women who want to come together, create a life of meaning, and leave the world a better place than they found it.

We are the change-makers.

You’re invited.